A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of all
your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice
inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

 Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

 This is your awakening. You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.

You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings
(or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever
after” must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born
of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will
always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ...  and that’s
OK.  

They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the
process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you
(or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count
on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say
and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always
about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the
process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they
are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the
process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you,
is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into
your psyche.

And you begin to sift through all the junk you’ve been fed about how you
should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you
should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make,
what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry,
the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents,
family, and friends.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. 

And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard
the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to
begin with ...  and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated
ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon
which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world
and that you can’t teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance
of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that
martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love.

How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would
have them be.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing
things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK....and that it is
your right to want things and to ask for the things you want ...  and that
sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love,
kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won’t settle for less.

And you learn that your body really is your temple.  And you begin to care
for it and treat it with respect.  You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink
more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take
more time to rest.  And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul.  So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you
deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing
for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it’s OK to risk
asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of
all: FEAR itself.

You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that
whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the
right to live life on your own terms.

And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a
cloud of impending doom.

 You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think
you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people.

 On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers.  It’s just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be
understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and
poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we
take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only
dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a
long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you
make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle
for less than your heart’s desire. 

And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open
to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

A Special thank you to (Sonny Carroll) for the Special permission to use this work

Click the back arrow on your browser
to return to Home Page